(please bare with my spelling, I am dyslexic and barely bilingual... language is not my friend)

I so swear before God:

These were the last words I spoke to my brother directly through the internet, spoken by the true Caliph and my dear blood brother, Mr. Ahmed Al-Dali.

me too brother
OOOH lol thats why I'm back ??
my story from church yesterday
so onm my way to work I had a conversation with god, and he told me to go to a chuch, and I asked him what I should do and he said ask for comunion and recieve your inheritance
so I went to the church, for I knew exactly which one, I had been there before, and I found the door locked
so I went and I nocked on the second door, and rang the buzzer no reply
so I tried tdoor after door until I saw the security guard sitting behind his desk and I waved to him in greating and stood in wait
so he came to me and I asked him whe the doors were locked, and he told me because nobody was inside
and on my way thre I had thought the words "as you do unto the least of my brothers, you do unto me" so I wnt as a beggar, and had already known to dress so.
so I told ihm to call the police for me, and whne he asked why I told him because somebody locked the doors of my fathers house
and his reply was "I'm not doing that"
so I went to the front door of the church, and I waited for it to be unlocked
and after about an hour in the freezing cold god told me that if I could get someone to take a picture of me they would recive one m illion dollors, from my inheritance of cource
so I asked every one who passed, and though it was cold on new years day the down town of ottawa is very busy and in the next hour I saw maybe 25 people, offered them the million dollors and told them they need only take my picture
do you know how many pictures? I will wait for your reply

While the answer I thought was correct was 0 - I'm now prety sure he is "decieced" though he speaks to me most clearly. "none" is perhaps more accurate an answer and I see that these words were given to me by god for my dearest brother's leaving of this body.... though I hope it not be the case.

For so it is when god speaks to me, I have been told so long that it is my own voice that I believe it, or rather, it's now all I can think... I know better, and I know he does too - and I see often how he plays with my words and for a long time I thought it was a gift of profecy... but it anyone I tried to show, including myself, does not fully understand how it works.... the will of god.

My story begins... this time, with the truth as the one who writes these very words knows it.

Once upon a time,

There was a woman named Faye, and she was not a virgin, for she had been raped repeatedly, even by family - but even they could not touch her soul. She was on medication to remove the possibility of pregnancy, and also told that due to a medical condition it was imposible for her to conieve... yet here I am.

There was a man named ... well his name doesn't matter, he was renamed to Death, and he stalks every one who lives, waiting for them to be pure to bring them before me.

There was a love, that created a child between these two, and one of them sold me to the other for less than a cent. At that time I was a mere decoration to an automobile, sold for $1000.... but the love of my mother brought me to a worshiper of Lucifer, the light keeper, who had the money to spare but demanded our servitude.

Under his guidance I was taught Presbiterian, a very strict religion if I do say so myself, luckily that minister was not a rapist - but I think most, from most of the christian sects are.

Speaking of rapists, at the age of 4, my babysitter forced me to give him head - or rather I should say, offered me head, and the gratification I felt made me feel like I owed him the same. I did not, and it took many many years to understand that.... I don't even remember when, but I learned how to masturbate and I have been cursed to it ever since, though age now makes it infrequent.

I think all of my girlfriends had been raped... there is one still I am unsure of, and I tried to do what I could for them, every one, but in the end only ever did more damage, and it only ever seemed to grow.

It took till this very day to forgive mmyself for that, and I still seek their forgiveness, though no doubt they would say poorly.... hopefully that wil change soon, in the meanwhile I've been searching a way.

But back to the story... I gues God felt a confession was in order, but that was by no means complete.... I'll make it foreshadowing.

I was alwayse a bright child, as are most, and the education system failed to stifle my growth, I saw that the teachers were fools and I learned on my own, I read the books when I wasn't forced to listen to them, and debated often in class to the tune of "chris, be silent".

My paternal grandparents, whome I have also forgiven, for all those things I have no clue about, were poor people, who worked hard to provide me with a real education, a curiosity of all things. The refused to eat at restaraunts and built there own home... such would be called crazy and outloawed now if any were strong enough to do it, to be sure.... and to my knowledge they saw the Nazi forming, and fled.

My maternal grandparents are of British and I think Irish descent (does it really matter?), though I'm sure I was told I was part native at some point, by my own mother though she denies it... perhaps it was because I lived in Brantford, among many natives - and she definately would have wanted me to see them as sibling.

While we lived with this worshiper of Lucifer, whom I will leave my mother to name, we moved frequently, but not nearly as much as when we left him and I can barely remember each place... before the internet, I lost every one of my friends, and very few have resurfaced - most now forgotten, though I'm sure I would remember if I hear thier tale, and would love to, for I missed them dearly... I consider each move a life, for I became a slightly new person, and the old became lost.

When I was 12, and praying to god, I recieved a command that I could not belive, I though surely it must be Satans voice that offers to me to be king of the world, and the voice said it did not matter, that God knew my heart, and I said I had doubt and I could not posibly lead with doubt, and so he told me to go and explore my doubt... and of course that was the wisest advice of all.

I became a heathen, speaking very badly about god, primarily to test his wrath... and I found it, in you... I found a girl, who had been raped and teased me mercilessly, and I came very close to raping her, because she was asleep and I was on LSD anddidn't even realize she was asleep... I had betrayed someone I loved and felt it no differnt than rape, I even called it such so that some of her friends would kill me, but they chose to let me live and suffer. It was unbearable and I tried to kill myself by hanging off a cliff.. I awoke at the bottom, only knowing I had somehow been saved.. perhaps my great grandmoter, whome loved me and somehow knew I would be a "great preacher" ... nothing seemed farther from the truth at that point of course, but I didn't doubt it was her who saved me.

And so I wandered, where I had been a very inteligent child, always seeing multiple paths and knowingbetter than to close doors and burn bridges, I found myself only able to find one or two steps at a time, and the few times they produced more to follow I though finally I had found my path... only for them to return me to the start.

But I also learned, and I became very wise with the help of very wise people, for they were never far. While my skills certainly pointed me towards leadership I often failed, and in my failures I found new things to learn, indeed in all of life and in every one, there is things to learn.... if you have found nothing yet, that is a sign you should look deeper, or have much to teach them.

For 20 years I wandered, one of canadians poor, unable to keep work for reasons never told to me, and finally sent to disability - which I'm grateful for because it gave me a lot of time to work on myself... indeed there should be a system, for any who feel sick, to find their path such as I did.

There came upon me at one point, not long ago now, news of a new nation forming, an international nation made of all people, so I joined, and as I did they anounced leadership, but no-one ran, so I ran. I learned much from my own previous attempts to do this very thing, taken over by trolls and closed for good. I noticed that they too faught the trolls, and I tried to show them what I learned, that they too are people... and a great army of truth fighters... though they search for truth and are tired of being told to stop.

I got very vocal, taking from my troll training, for I too had been a troll as I wandered lost. I trolled them with love, showing them how pwerful a single, well trained troll could be - and they banished me in fear. At the time, I was 5th most popular leader... and I feel robbed, but it is their right... they also removed my petition to remove censorship, which was well on it's way to reciveing enough signatures - that, I find, unforgivable for they hide even from their own victims... and I call them for what they are, book burners - in hopes they see only.

Through my running for Asgardian parliament I connected with hundreds of people all over the world... and I found somthing peculiar, they all wanted peace... so why then is their war? They banished primarily the religious and the conspiracy theorists, so I looked to them.

First I looked to the conspiracy theorists... and man is there a lot to look at... I am at the point where I question if indeed aliens have been among us all this time, and I think if they were, they should reveal themselves soon, so that the world might no my words to be true. I also saw a lot of silencing, which does nothing but promote more conspiracy theorists to examine the truth for themselves.. and the truth sure seems obvious, that we have been lied to many times - but conspiracy theorists want no war, they only want truth.

So then I started re-examining religions, for a long time I thought they were responcible for the wars. I am surrounded by Christian and Jewish based media, so I looked to the muslims, for thats who they point the finger at... and I had already known that most muslims are peacefull so I befrended one and he taught me the true meaning of love, and indeed much more, for he was in Yemen and when I heard he had bombs falling around for 3 years I wept for days... finally I had found at least one side of the war.

Over the next months we became very close, which should astonish you no? A christian and a muslim calling each other brother and crying at each others pains and feeling joy in each others joys? It should not, but such is media, it shares mainly the bad.

One day he said I should be king, and half-jokingly I said he should be king, and when I said it I knew it not to be my own words, because I felt that no one should be king. But this one, who could find and share with me love, in the middle of such hopelessness, with nothing else to give... surely one such as he might be deserving, and the current king is a coward, who left his people to seek the aid of their enemies - or at least is the proclimation of my dear brother.

My brother did not tell me much of the war, but he told m that Saudi Arabia, with the aid of Europe and America were trying to take over the country, against houthi rebels (even by is word they were rebels, but he said the rightful king, not the one who fled, alied with them before they killed him years later) so I did research on these rebels, who pointed me to hezbola (through wikipedia) so I had found the second half of the war... and I won't say my theory on it because I know who runs this side for fact, and they would kill me for even suggesting it.

At this point, Yemen is in flames, smoke chokes out it's sun, and why I do not know, but I suspect it's because thats where the next Caliph was to be found. Hopefuly, now that their mission is done they will stop. He's dead already, let their children live in the peace I offer.and may they forgive me for pointing my leaders to him, for it was the only way I could learn my true identity. For when I proclaimeed him Caliph he was able to verify I was indeed Jesus of Nasererth.

I swear this story to be true, as I know it, and has has been proven to me, as well proven as I myself exist. I cannot and will not swear it to be the whole truth, for only God could give the whole truth. I swear it is nothing but the truth, except where speculation is specified. So help me God.

Since I do not trust the courts to hold this trial public, through have the right to be judged by my pears, I most humbly ask you to protest my case if it not be public.

Ceneezer,
A.K.A. Speaker for the Dead,
A.K.A. Jesus of Nazareth,
A.K.A. Christopher Pavlis